Well... Finally reach the end of the 2012... Today is the last day of the 2012... Huh.. Thats fast... And I'm 18 years old... Haha... That will be fun... Next target is 21 then I get to go to casino, getting mature or still suck I don't know... Well.. Lets find that out in future.... xD...

In this year... I know how family is mean to me... Is important... I left them and live without them... Is tough... But awhile awhile.... I used to it.. After this year... I think I will left my family again...  I will do my best and not to let my family worry me and let them down.. :)

I been through a lot of things this year.. I learn to let go, I learn to forgive, I learn to independent, I learn to stay strong and never give up.. Each time I fail.. I will become stronger and stronger...

But 1thing that makes me feel comfortable is to be alone.. I think is selfish... But I trying to fix it.. I not feel like being together with friend... LOL... I don't mean I don't like and I don't mean I don't want... Is just that.. I wan to be alone.. :/... Weird right?

A bad thing I learn this year is my anger.. Being very hot this past few month.. Whats wrong with me.. ><... I hope I can not to be so hot.. :/... Because is... I say it in easier way.. I don't like.. :/..
So plz don't make me angry.. ><....

Well... Thats all... :)... From tomorrow on will be a better year for me.. NEVER GIVEUP..!! My wish for next year is to get a great job wherever I go,  make more friend to have a better networking, be healthy and stay strong, being stronger and stronger... :)...

For getting a partner... I think.. Let's see how's it go... Maybe this year.. Or maybe next year or even I don't know... But... I wish... That partner must be what I looking for... :) looking forward to meet you... Partner.., ;)

Happy new year..  Welcome 2013... Good bye oldies 2012.. XD

Finally I come back to my real home.. Come back really very different.. A lot of changes.. First is my family.. Still the same but happy to be with them again... :)... But grandma I saw her day by day weaken... :(... And my mother's side... All good...!! XD treat me very good.. Since they know I may need operation, they buy dunno what kind of medicine... 1 Capsule rm800.. @@... Hope it works for me... And I can't drink any thing that made from tea.. ;( too bad huh...
And my friend... Haah.. All guys busy and have their own new friends... Happy for them... Now my mum and dad friends is my friend.. XD.. Abit weird ehh.. Haha... !!

I'm so slack.. Someone help me?@@

"don't give up for what you want for life"... ?????
I understand this sentence... But... Should I or shouldn't I?? !!!!

This is the second time I have time feeling... XD

Ha.. Since when I keep dreaming her.. Every time different places... Different moments... Different times... We being together... Well... I rather 24 hours keep dreaming and not awaken.. Even is not real.. But at less I can see her.. Touch her,, :).... Better than now... Can't do anything.. Sit here and the heart that can't heal it self.. :'(

Well.... Here i am... DotA... I'm back.. I miss you.. :') hope you can get back my heart... :)

心脏又开始发作了 :(

Sry.. I don't wanna join the game.. Because I don't feel like wanna join.. :)

Today.. Someone ask me.. Why everytime after school always alone and lonely and just listening to music with earphone even friends are here you do it so..? 

I'm like that because I'm like that... Non of your business.. I listen music because I don't want to be disturb... I don't know... Maybe I addicted to it or maybe I don't want to think so much ..less stress.... Every time I study... Eating lunch...and everytime when I'm alone... 

That's what my after school does.. For that thing I will think about it... Thks.. ;)

I miss... I do.. I really do.. :(

:)... Know what?... I'm damn attracted to it.. Good news xD

I got a feeling I can get full marks... :)

Try your best Ken.. Let them see what you really are...break the school record.. xD

I want you to empty your mind and study..!! No her no anything!!

Thats a certificate of being a GM Licence!! You fail you SUCK!!

Focus man.. I warn YOU!! I need this.. God bless me..!

不值得！

啊

心情。。可悲，想念。。我可以撑多久。。

如果可以回到从前。。我会留下。。一切的故事会不一样。。

十三

没有她的第十三天。。 白天黑夜。。随时随刻。。她都会在我的脑里飘扬的。。 有时候老师教课时我总是会发呆的想她。。给老师砍一次。。 今天放学后去看电影。。哈。。每次去都会想到那一刻。。

好冷

在冷的地方。。在想念你爱的人时候。。好悲啊。。:'(

哈

今天是第十四个月。。 约了她出去。。被她拒绝了。。 心里有点失望。。她说了理由。。可能不想见我还是不要我想太多吧。。 刚刚知道她是七号的。。过了就过了。只好往前走。。 有人说放下。。哈。。在这世界里。有些东西是放不下的。。 对不起。。爸妈。。让您们担心。。我会好好过的。。放心吧。。 而健康方面。。我也会好好照顾自己。。不给自己太大的压力和小心。。 这给她的。。。。你要好好照顾自己。。有什么事。。找我。。24小时随时都可以。 我明天上机了。。我最敬爱的你。。年尾见。。

好了

没有她的第五天...好不惯没有电话铃声... 她...还好吗？ 看到她把我和她的照片删除了..心里有点不好受... 但这个做法可以让她好受的...那就好... 我们还是朋友吧...:) 可能她想要的是天天能够陪伴你的人..可以照顾..有安全感..明白你的..而且不是你等他..而是他等你的.. 从现在到未来..我等待着一个不太可能再爱我的人..现在可能还年轻吧..还没有事业..养不起女友.. 也许那时的她..应该有男友了吧..未来预测不到的..不好乱想吧.. 有人问过我..你对她的感情这样..值得这样做吗？ 对..值得..她很特别..好温柔..当靠近她时心里特别舒服..不害怕..还有解释不到的感觉.. 虽然她现在好粗鲁..容易生气..我知道她不是这样的..我认识的她..还在她心里..我会等她.. 读完这一年..我可能会放弃纽西兰..去新加玻..我有这样的想法..因为家人在吉隆玻..还有她..婆婆奶奶老了..随时会有事发生..那里还有姨姨在..想家时..可以随时回..方便容易简单靠近..而新加玻也是一个旅游胜地和商业交流的地方..东南亚还是比较适合我.. 好了..我希望她看完这时..无论发生什么事..还是找不到人谈天..一定要找我..我会帮..和陪到最后..随时可以找我..电话电讯都不变..我等她..

下

跟你们出去的时候。。 我本身觉得到。。你们的讲话方式，动作，粗口等等。。 真真的令我觉得很幼稚，好像长不大的。。你知道吗？ 可能只是我个人觉得吧。。还是我的那里的朋友比较大，比较成熟，参他们多，想法也差不多一样。。 刚刚做完头脑的检查。。没什么严重还是特别的事。。 下星期还要做个检查才回去那里。。 拜六到拜一。。 我会去新加玻玩。。但在新山住。。想我的小姨可以帮我剪剪头发。。 哈哈^_^ 至于你呢。。我已有所答案了。。 告诉你下一次。。：＞

恋

暗恋.. 
you know how stressful it is?
when love somebody so deeply..
can't express..
 can't tell..
when get jealous can't tell you..
everything must be keep in heart...
make sure that you don't know?
what is this?
can't find back the old feelings?
because being together for a time..
we know each other..
just like you know your family.. 

please..

Please..
Give me time...
 To accompany you...
This whole time that i'm here...
Just two of us..

hope

I love you..

I'm serious..

I'm not kidding..

I'm not joking..

Everything have a way..

Trust me..

 I'll give you happiness.. 

You and I have chosen this way..

Why don't look forward?

Don't give up..Think positive...

Maybe you don't understand what i'm trying to do and say..

But.. you will understand in future.. i'm not child anymore..

i met alot of people.. I learned from mature adult..

they regret what have they done in past..

And i don't want to be regret.. you as well..

I don't want to loss a person that i loved..

Don't tell me i will found a better one..

because in this world.. there's no another you..

Just like our parents.. there's no another our parents...

Not happy doesn't mean forever not happy..

Happy doesn't mean forever happy..

In a life time.. anything could be change.. 

No matter how strong a women is..

women also need a man to take care of her..

love her.. help her.. have own family.. have own kids...

 What I want is you.. just you.. 

13th

1313亮晶晶...

我的脑海都是你...

13th Months..

I Love You..

:(

Anything that I did wrong..

I'm sorry..
I just wan us to be like..

when we just being together that time..

Te Quiero... ying yeng~

留下

你给我这机会。。可能是你心甘情愿的。。或可能是错误的。。可能错误是一种缘分吧。。 你应该不会再给我机会吧。。？

我放感情那么深。。因为是你啊。。你的"美"。。吸引了我。。当我们在一起的时候。。我有一种特别的感觉。。很舒服。。没担心。。没烦恼。。我好喜欢这感觉。。我才放的那么深。。不但是这个。。你说过。。你不会放我走的。。

爱你。。不但只是你的美。。不完美的。。我接受了你的一切。。我知道。。你脾气不好。。我给你骂。。给你打。。给你欺负。。我不介意。。那是你的优点。。你这样也是因为爱我对吧？最重要的是两个人同一条船要好好的照顾对方。。否则。。船达不到目的地。。俩人就在海中消失。。

从一开始到现在。。我不知道你要离开的哪些原因。。如果是为了一件事。。可以改的。。而分手。。就因为可以改就不是自己？你觉得值得吗？人改变得了。。心改不了。。

你说你喜欢我了几年。。但我只一年？你感受过了对吧？爱。。不可用时间来算。。不可用金钱算。。要算就算出爱的价值。。

喜欢。。我也喜欢很多人啊。。我也可以和他们在一起。。但没有那些感觉。。你以为我们做朋友好。。？看到你时心会有后悔ps的感觉。。你不会吗？

你说要生要死。。对。。我自己心脏不好我都不知道。。我不会照顾我自己。。我在医院的时候谁来关心我。。我去补习为谁去。。我做什么事谁能告诉我对还是错。。在我人生中都给我遇到你说我放得下吗？我不可能找到第二个了。。我是头。。你是脖子。。我们是一对的。。哪找另一个。。？我要靠你来移动。。靠你的指点。。没有你我一个人不能的。。

得到人。。一定得到心。。感情是慢慢培养的。。留下。。宝贝。。我不能没有你。。我爱你。。

以为

无论你的答案是怎样。。我会选择不放弃你。。你说你不适合谈恋爱。。哪有人不适合的。。你要自由是吧？我不在你不是很自由了吗？你要和朋友出街就出街。。你要做什么就做什么。。我没有偏见。。我只是不喜欢你和男的出去玩。。是男友的都不喜欢是吧？女友也不喜欢男友这样做吧？我没有和一大群女生一起玩。。因为我有了你。。你不喜欢我做什么我就不做。。不想让你不开心。。但你始终我做什么你都不开心。。我知道。。我做错好多事。。我真的知错了。。我们已经大了不是小孩了。。自己说的。。要负责任了。。女人都是弱的。。都要一个人照顾和关心。。就给我一个机会重新来过。。让我照顾你。。好吗？

在这里。。我住得真的不开心。。就算是伯伯的家。。我觉得我是一个人酱。。这个家只是给我住的地方。。这个家。。有时是开心的。。但。。多数的是可怕的。。吵架。。打架。。粗口。。还有一次已经拿刀了。。这还是家吗？前几天。。我偷听堂哥和他老婆吵架。。原来。。他们俩。。拿过吃毒的。。女的。。以前是做妓女的。。我没告诉伯伯他们。。我爸妈我都不敢说。。我不想吵了。。给我的感觉怕。。我接受不到。。表面看见幸福。。其实是。。不是个好家庭。。过了一两年后。。我会搬出去住。。现在呢。。我有你。。就足够了。。不多不少。。还希望你来呢。。:)

在我心里。。是没人可以取代你的。。你说我会遇到比你更好的。。我不要更好的。。我只要你。。有感觉就是有感觉。。我选择追求。。如果我失败了。。我觉得。。我不敢再爱别人了。。好伤啊。。不管怎样。。我刚学了这句。。人算不如天算。。

我好笨你知道吗。。我以为你和我可以在一起。。喜欢和爱你到疯。。每时没刻都想念你。。好像吃了毒品一样上瘾了。。把心给了你。。没想到。。以为。。一切都是我以为。。 

Already a week.. You making me like a Dead Man.. :'(

你

事情好突然的发生。。我没想到。。是酱想的。。我不知道你是认真还是假。。你说你爱我。。我好久没听你说我爱你了。。闷。。我把我每天的事告诉你。。哄你。。要你开心。。你还是要我做什么？你要离开我。。说声不配就算。。什么东西让你觉得不配？说我很好。。但要离开。。我不明白。。我们没有美好的回忆。。是因为我不浪漫。。没抱或亲还是吻你？我小过你。。思想还小。。是。。当天你说别的男人我是不开心。。但你也是知道的。。你还讲。。我就陪你讲。。我叫你和amy但你说还跟她们吗。。你说她和他一定没东西讲。。你还说你要跟大学的朋友。。我就说他咯。。你就发脾气了。。我不是真的要说他。。我不开心才会说的。。你要离开我。。我好想知道原因。。你是不是对我没感觉了？就喜欢不是爱？我真的不想这两点是真的。。 我不懂我不明白你当天突然说这些。。我不管天真还是什么。。我权威只爱你一个颖盈。。我不放心别的男人照顾你。。当你不回我的时候。。我好担心。。我不放心你一个人在大学会找到别的男人。。怕你离开我。。我容易吃醋。。当我听到你那些话。。你开始对我淡了。。当我离开吉隆玻那天开始。。你没有像以前那麽顽皮。。那麽开朗。。那麽可以开玩笑。。什么事情都会很敏感。。你发脾气来姨妈。。我不怪你。。但我想问。。你自己发生了什么事？告诉我。。我愿意听。。我还是那句。。不管你爱我不爱我。。你是我的心。。我不会放弃你。。不管配或不配。。一定配到。。天下没有不可能的事。。看你敢不敢去面对而已。。让你在次的做回你自己。。接受我。。我爱你宝贝颖盈。。。爱你直到永远。。

Happy 1st Year Anniversary ♥

Happy 1st Year Anniversary of our Love, my Babee.. :)
Time passed very fast.. feels like just half year then 1 year jor.. :).. I'm very happy of it.. don know how you feel leh? =).. Still remember that how i request to be your boyfriend? Think back.. I still will smile geh.. ;) Still remember our 1st time hangout just both of us? I play with you then I hold tight your hand? That time.. I think you are happy right? Did you heard that I said I Love You for 3 times? Is kinda funny when I think back.. And you are smiling sweetly.. =D..
After that time, I less see that smile again.. Because I always make you angry and disappointed.. But thats normal for couples.. because let us know more each other.. Maybe you know me more than I know you... I did mistake all the time.. Maybe i'm noob.. Maybe I dont know how to love a girl.. Or maybe I'm not suit you.. But after all that.. You still be with me.. You don't wanna make this relationship end.. As you told me.. almost 5 years you like me until you love me.. I remember that you almost really wanna end this relationship.. I tried to save it and I did it.. I know girls like to make decision without think especially when getting period.. at last regret.. I'm not saying you'll or wont.. But.. I really don't wanna lose you and I know you wanna be with me but excluded the habit.. That time until now.. that habit have gone.. I swear it wont happen again..
About the wait.. I'm sry Babee.. :'( I know you'll tired with that..I know i'm selfish and I have no choice.. I just think for me and you to have a better life in future.. I don't know what will happen in future.. But I can promise you one thing.. You are the only person who I Love, who qualified to be my soulmate, qualified to be with me in life..  Be strong my babee.. :*
In this year.. Love, Laugh, Smile, Cry, Jealous, Shy, Naughty, Playful.. all kinds of things we have done together.. happiest moment that I with you.. is the time.. 31st Dec.. I spend my year of 2011 with you.. And Together start this year together.. Did you surprise that I come that day? hehe.. I feel strange that day mum and dad let me out.. So i wanna give you surprise lo.. =p
At last.. I wanna say.. I Love You.. Thanks for taking care of me, worry about me.. You're more than my mum.. Your my babee.. hopefully my future wife.. ♥ Happy 1st Year Anniversary ♥..  ;D

11, forever together just like eleven

I wish that I could hold you now... 

I wish that I could touch you now... 

I wish that I could kiss you now...

I wish that I could hug you now...

I wish I could.. :'(

I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear... I miss hearing your crazy and 38 stories, and above all these... I just so miss you..!! 

Happy 11 Months my Babee Girl..

I'm happy to have you In My Life.. :')

You always are my Babee Girl..

♥I Love You Forever And Ever..♥

♥Muacksss ♥Muacksss ♥Muacksss ♥

:)

Dont be nervous and worry..

It will be all right..

God bless you Babee...

I'll bless and wish as well...:)

Love My Babee Girl..

Muackkkkkkssssssssss..~!! :*

Fear

Fear is coming to me..

Nearer and nearer and nearer..

The time with you lesser and lesser..

Without you i scare i cant do this...

 ♥Babeee...♥

Seriously..

 ♥I'M SO MISS YOU.. :'(( ♥

Last

No matter how hard is this,

Live or Death,

Sickness or Infection,

I'll done it..

If not, you KEN will bye cause of pressure,

Last Chance KEN..

Remember..

Always Love you babeee.. 

i wish i have.. :(

♥If I could have  a wish maker now.. ♥
♥ I would wish to wake up everyday ♥
♥ to heard the sound of your breath.. ♥ 

♥The way you smile with each other ♥ 
♥ The warmth of your lips on my cheek.. ♥
♥ The touch of your fingers on my face.. ♥
♥ and the feel of your heart beating with mine... ♥ 

♥Being together forever and never split up ♥ 
♥ Knowing that I could never find all that feeling ♥
♥ with anyone other than you...♥

♥That's why you're the one♥

♥I love you..♥

♥My babee.. :*♥

you change my whole life babee.. :)

♥*You're the one*♥

♥*You're the one in my life*♥

♥*I LOVE YOU*♥

♥*Forever and After*♥

♥ My Lovely Chubby Babee.. :) ♥

♥Muackkkkkssssssssssss~!! :*♥

还是那样

我对你。。希望你明白。。

新的一年了。。每个人都变了。。有计划了。。为了自己的未来想。。而我呢。。要出外国读书了。。很多人的梦想。。要但很难。。而我有机会。。很不愿意去。。我最不放心的人而是为一最不舍得的人。。是你。。宝贝tracy颖盈。。你和我没想到事情那么突然发生。。你我都很不舍得对方。。你为了这事。。应该哭了好悲。。:(..我好对不起你。。但这次我被必要自私。。为了移民，带你去过好的生活。。和家人。。我被必的。。请原谅我。。 :'( 我真的很不希望我们两为了这间事而毁灭我们的感情。。我好想和你一辈子。。你也可能想吧。。我答应你。。 一读完。。立刻马上回来陪伴你。。一起过我们的这一生。。
人说。。天涯何处无芳草何必单恋一枝花。。我知道。。但我找到我的唯一可以让我幸福的女人。。我不会就让我们就酱没了。。
爱情。。不是说变心就变。。我对你的爱。。你也很清楚。。我不会变心的。。我向天发誓。。我只爱你一个。。回来后娶你。。：）相信我。。就忍这几年。。我们就可以在永远在一起。。宝贝。。你要乖噢。。我不在。。别学坏。。:)..
如果有人追你。。你就说有老公了。。=p..如果还不可以的话。。我飞回来帮你。。 =p.. 如果你变了心。。我就去修道。。做和尚。。我人是酱。。对爱情和你。。我说一就一二就二。。希望你明白。。我只想要你。。:/ 我的人生计划已经告诉你了。。你也应该可以做决定了。。好好的想。。。我爱你。。好爱你。。muackkkkkssssssss..!! :* <3